Deconstruction

Why are you still reading?

It is 3:15 on a Wednesday in Mission, KS. Andy is in his office working. Enter Rick, the plumber, stage right. With Rick is Joe, assisting Rick.

[Rick] Andy? We’re just finishing up, we’ll be taking off now.
[Andy] Oh, sounds good Rick, did you get it all taken care of?
[Rick] We sure did. Well, except for the shower. I don’t have a trim kit for that, so I’ll be back in a few days with that. Oh, and the bathroom countertop isn’t here, so we’ll have to wait on that too.
[Andy] Hm…Ok, but everything else?
[Rick] Yep - your sink is all hooked up, and the toilet too. Your dishwasher and washer and dryer are ready too. The washer and dryer are out in the garage.
[Andy] …
[Rick] See you later!

Approximately fifteen minutes pass, during which Andy discovers large quantities of sealant in the kitchen sink, slopped around both drain openings. Cleans this up, then anxiously turns to the dishwasher, eager for something - anything - to finally work. Zoom in to see the look of frustration as the dishwasher, clearly not fully attached, refuses to start. Upon further investigation, it appears that the door latch is bent. A few minutes of quiet desperation pass, then re-enters…

[Rick] Hey Andy, me again. I lost my cell phone, do you mind calling it so I can track it down?
[Andy] Sure, Rick…by the way, did you say the dishwasher was ready?
[Rick] Yep, should be all set.
[Andy] Well, I just must not know how to work this one…maybe you can give me a hand.
[Rick, looks closer at the dishwasher. After a moment, he stands] Looks like Joe didn’t fasten this to the cabinets… [Shakes head, as if thinking of the crazy antics of a wily misbehaven child] Well, maybe you should try reading the manual!
[Andy] …
[Rick] See you later! [Exits stage left]

Other fun facts to know and tell…

• The electrician decided that we no longer needed a switch to operate the floodlight outside of the garage. This useless non-sensical pinky-toe of a switch was replaced by a robust, well-intentioned switch operating an overhead light also controlled by an adjacent switch a scant 4 feet away. Who needs to control outside lights, anyway? If they were meant to be on, they would be on, dammit!
• The GC’s (David and company) seem to have a strong aversion to subcontractors. They will not come within three days of when a subcontractor was here, despite a host of tasks yet to be completed. I mean seriously, you can’t very well attach cabinet pulls or a range hood when the plumber is hooking up the toilet! What were you thinking!?!?
• My repeated requests regarding the bathroom coutertop have been check-mated by the unyielding reply of “materials are in. they have the template. should be ready very soon”
• The microvave, carefully selected from among a long list of contenders for its ability to fit within a small space and look swanky complete with a trim kit is fully twice as deep as the space alloted. Completely invalidating the trim kit ($100, please!). Necessitating a clownish shelf to support the front feet of the microwave, which will perch precariously over the precipice, waiting for the right moment to topple out and destroy the Zodiaq by DuPont countertop below. Preventing the adjacent cabinet door from opening fully, as it bumps into the side of the microwave support shelf.
• The cabinet on the back side of the island no longer opens, as it is blocked by the overhanging countertop. Obviously a consequence of foolishly buying a house that was not square

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 at 10:50 pm and is filed under During. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.